INFREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q. Who are you?

A. Just Me.

Q. What are your aims?

A. To make you smile. Twice.

Q. Have you always been this unprofessional?

A. No.

Q. If, hypothetically, I wished to make a purchase from you… can I?

A. Ask and you shall receive.

Q. How quickly can you make a delivery?

A. My P.B. is 3:44.15. Though I'm not in the shape I was then, so under current conditions, typically my usual takes 3-5 days. However, you now know how far you can push me if you require a more special turnaround. (Most targets are attainable).

Q. Would you consider a bespoke request or collaboration?

A. I think so, yes. (Within reason).

Q. Do you have a Privacy Policy?

A. The simplest principle I swear by is to treat another as I would wish to be treated. I am very private. I value my own space. Your secret is safe with me.

Q. Marmite?

A. My mate!

Q. Can you speak any other languages?

A. Gobbledygook (Mother Tongue). English (Proficient). Body (Conversational). Esperanto (Basic). Cuss (0/0+ Novice).

Q2. Favourite saying?

A2. Ĉiuj homoj naskiĝas liberaj kaj egalaj en digno kaj rajtoj. Ili posedas racion kaj konsciencon, kaj devus konduti unu la alian en spirito en frateco.

* All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

Q. Are we there yet?

A. You have reached your destination.